after school

take a break. you've been working hard all day. have a snack. let your brain rest. play.
Watch a show on tv, but just one. Turn off the tv at the end of one program. You can do it. Sometimes we sit in front of the tv for a really long time but there are other things to do. Like homework. After your break time, set up a quiet place to do your homework. With the tv off.
Sure, you might say, "Aunt Jen, I can concentrate with the tv on."
I don't think it's good for your brain. Let yourself have quiet time and focus on the school work. You'll get finished faster. The work will be higher quality. Your brain will thank you for the break from all that noise. Hey, don't try to sneak your ipod. I know what you're up to.
Also, put down your phone and stop texting.
Just get the school work finished. Then you can text.
Have a great day at school tomorrow.

aunt jen, i dropped my books in the hall

Dropping your books is really embarrassing. It's frustrating too because all those folders that you have been organizing could get messed up or wrecked. Tons of middle school kids drop stuff every day. Sometimes best freinds slam eachother's books to the floor just to be funny. Yeah, real funny. It's even worse if mean kids "accidentally" kick a notebook. This is not the time to get angry. Even if you hear kids saying stupid stuff to you, let it go for now. Concentrate on getting your materials off the floor and getting to class. Try to gather everything into your arms. Watch out for your fingers when you're down on the floor because they could easily get stepped on. If the hall is very full, just wait a few seconds for kids to clear out.
When you get to class take a deep breath. ask to go to the bathroom. Why the bathroom, you say? That gives you a chance to walk off your feelings, get a drink and have a little bit of quiet time. By the time you get back to the classroom you'll probably feel (almost) back to normal. Later you'll have to find time to check your stuff for damage or footprints.
Hey, book slamming is very common. Once or twice it is meant as a joke. Try not to take it personally. You know how some kids will do anything for attention. Resist the temptation to become a slammer yourself.
If your stuff keeps getting pushed out of your arms time after time then you are being bullied. It could be a different kid each time or it could be the same kid or maybe you don't even know who is doing it. Tell your teacher about the problem. Middle school teachers are great at dealing with bullies. The book slammer may even have to carry his books AND yours as punishment.

where's my reading folder?

Keep stuff together.

At school you have a storage area for your stuff, right? Is yours a locker? Cubby box? Desk? Shelf?

Whatever it is, the space starts off nice and clean when your teacher assigns it to you. Think about how you can organize it. Some experienced middle school students keep morning materials on one side and afternoon stuff on the other. Try to keep the reading folder next to the reading book. Put the math binder with the math book. If you have one big binder for lots of subjects make sure you put in pockets for loose papers. Some teachers do notebook checks and count that as part of the grade. Have you ever seen a binder with wrinkled and torn and dirty pages sticking out everywhere? That's the kind of binders we don't like in middle school.
Part of growing up includes taking care of your own materials. Teachers will help you to stay organized but it's your job to put the papers in the right place and keep track of everything. Every day. For each class. All year. It's a skill.

This skill needs to be used at home, too. Keep stuff together. Be sure your folders and books don't get mixed up with the mail. Keep your books separate from your brother's stuff.

Doing school work on the couch, yes, that's fine. Leaving your folders under the couch is not fine. Doing school work at the kitchen table, yes, that's fine too. Leaving your folders on the table is not fine. Finish one assignment then put the materials away. Get out the book and papers for the next assignment. Finish the work then put the materials away. Keep everything together. Oh, did I say that before? Yeah. That's because you have to do it.

Put everything back in your school bag before bed. If there's a paper to be signed or something you want to go over before school then leave them on top of the bag. Take care of the things you kept out in the morning but be sure to put everything in the bag before you head out the door.

I hope you won't be yelling, "WHERE'S MY READING FOLDER?"

Have a great school day.

avoid the grumpies

There is a lot to handle in middle school. The beginning of the year, new teachers, different classes, homework, rules, clothes, body stuff, more rules, friends, parents, chores, more and more rules, lockers, lunch, notes, love! Just listing the things kids have to deal with is giving me stress. Oh, what about cell phones and texting and myspace and growing and eating healthy and sports and instrument practice....AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
How do middle school kids do it all?
May I suggest, as your Aunt Jen, that you need more sleep? Any person trying to deal with all the changes and responsibilities that you are going through is expected to be tired.

Did you know that your cells do their best growing while you sleep? they do.
Did you know that sleeping allows your mind to dream? it does.
Did you know that if you don't get enough sleep you are going to be grumpy? you will.
Did you know that if you're grumpy you will probably get in arguments about stupid things? you will.
Did you know that if you argue with friends then they will be grumpy, too? they will.
Did you know that if you argue with parents or teachers you will get in trouble? you will.

Try an experiment. On yourself. Get one more hour of sleep each night for 4 nights. Keep track of how you feel. Notice how you pay attention during the day. Check if you are more organized. Observe your friends (like a scientist) and see if you think they might need more sleep, too. Now please, get off the computer and get some sleep. Nighty night!

lost in school: scene 2

You got lost but a kind person helped you get to the right classroom. Good. Now everyone else is already in there and you are late. Bad. What should you do if you're late to class?
A. charge into the room and shout ta da... I'm here!
B. don't go in. people will look at you.
C. go in calmly and explain that you accidentally went to art instead of math.
D. leave a note on the door: I was here. see you tomorrow.
E. crawl through the open door and with a quiet voice like you were lost in the desert, say, "water, water" and make panting sounds

While many of these choices look really good, the best one to go with is.... come on you know it's C. go in the classroom calmly. If the teacher even asks where you were then explain that you accidentally went to art but a nice person helped you to find math. The teacher will not scream at you. I promise. You may have last dibs on your favorite seat but you won't get in trouble for being lost in the first few days of school.
Answers A. and E. may have been selected by kids who like attention. They sometimes cover up nervous feelings with silly behavior. Everyone laughs. Hopefully the teacher will laugh, too. But not always and they're not the best choices for the beginning of the year.
Answers B. and D. feel like the best choices for very shy kids. They usually like school but hate when it feels like everyone is looking at them. In this scene, if kids are looking at you, they are thinking something like, "wow, I'm glad I didn't get lost this time." They will not scream out "Hey nice hair weirdo!" Even though you might feel very uncomfortable, just get in there and by the end of class, no one will remember that you were late.
Speaking of the end of class, maybe you could check your schedule and see if anyone in math will be going to gym next and can walk with you. Or what if you ask the math teacher for directions to the gym? That would work, too. Middle school teachers really are helpful and kind.

lost does not = loser

What if you get lost at school?
a. run out the back door and never come back
b. ask an 8th grader for help
c. drop to the floor and cry
d. ask a teacher for help
e. get out your cell phone and call 911

Asking the nearest teacher is the best choice. Be clear about where you're going like this...
you: " Could you please help me get to Miss Keller's math class?"
teacher: "Sure! Go down the hall to the blah blah blah directions done...
you: "Thank you!" then walk to the class. not lost any more.

Let me break this scene down for you.
1. You say please, the magic word.
teacher thinks: what a polite kid. I'll help.

2. You say the name of the teacher you need to find and the subject she teaches.
teacher thinks: yeah, I know where Miss Keller's room is. she's my friend.
IF you had just said how do I get to math or math in room 217, it would be a little harder for the teacher to picture the room number and get you there. You know there are lots of math rooms in the school.

3. You say Thank you!
teacher thinks: what a polite kid. I'm glad I helped. Maybe I'll walk over to Miss Keller's room to make sure the nice kid got there ok.

next blog: scene 2: getting to class late

smelling good or just smelly?

Yesterday we got really fresh and clean. Today let's think about the stuff you can put on after you're clean to smell and look even better... or not. Most children don't use any body products like lotion, deodorant, hair gels, body sprays and perfumes or colognes. Middle school has tons of kids who love to experiment with all these products and we know they sometimes try all of them on the same day. Wow. That's a lot of smelly stuff on one person.
Hey everyone, after your body is clean and dry use deodorant + antiperspirant under your arms. They both come in one thing. Lots of people like the stick that you just rub under there 2 or 3 times. Up/down. Up/down. That should cover it for one day. Of course there are also spray and gel deodorants, too. The deodorant part keeps us from getting stinky and the antiperspirant stops the sweaty pits. Now if you play hard, get really hot, and run a lot you're going to get sweaty and stinky no matter how much stuff is on your pits. That's where the soap and water come in again.
Body sprays smell good. For boys I'm thinking about Axe and Tag type sprays. Girls can get hundreds of good smelling sprays and some have tiny bits of glitter. This product goes on the skin near the neck or the front of your shirt. Hold it kind of far away from your skin so it's not really a blast but a gentle mist. Don't go spraying the entire body because the smell will be too strong. Your room should not have a cloud of body spray floating around when you're done.
News Flash!! Face lotion may be used by boys! There are gentle lotions that keep the skin on our faces fresh all day. They can stop pimples from popping out. They often include sun screen. They smell nice but not too pink, if you know what I mean. If you use face wash, and I'm talking to boys and girls here, there's probably a daily moisturizer to help control breakouts. Try it and see how your skin feels. Put the lotion on your finger tips then make little spots of it on your face. Use the finger tips to rub it over your whole face.
Wait. Before you go, check for globs and rub them away with the back of your hand or a tissue.
Smile and have a great day.

how to be fresh and clean for school

Clean feels good and smells good, too. Start with your skin. All of your skin. And use soap not just water. Some people use body wash which looks like shampoo but is for the skin. As you hit that wacky time of puberty, your skin will begin to change. In fact, your whole body will do strange and unusual things during these years. Don't worry. You can work with these changes when you know what to expect. Expect pimples and new hair where there wasn't any hair before. Oh, and those private areas will be changing, too. It's all part of moving from child to adult and it takes a long time.

Ok, now that your body is clean, work gently on your face. If your skin is beginning to get pimples, use an acne clearing face wash. Most of these products have a chemical called salicylic acid which slows the dead skin cells from clumping up and clogging pores. Start with the mild kind (not extra strength) to be sure you don't get a rash. If your skin feels really tight after using the face wash, it's probably too strong for you. It's also available in a small tube and you just put little dabs of it on any pimples you have.
Now up to the top of your body. Wash your hair to remove dirt and oil. Use shampoo not just water. Rinse out all the shampoo which takes the dirt off of your hair with it.

Check your finger nails for dirt and get rid of it. We don't carry dirt in our finger nails in middle school people. It may have been ok in elementary grades because of playgrounds and mud pies. No more nail mud for you. Hey, check your toes for dirt while you're at it.

On to the teeth. Do you have braces? Well it doesn't matter. Get your teeth clean every day. At least once a day brush each tooth carefully with toothpaste not just the ones in front. Learn how to floss between your teeth, too. If your toothbrush looks scruffy with bent and twisted bristles please get a new one which will do a much better job of cleaning. Think of trying to write with and unsharpened pencil. You can't brush with an unbrushy flat brush. One more thing, rinse your mouth and make sure you're not walking around with extra toothpaste on your face.

Have a great day and repeat the whole thing tomorrow and the next day and the next... I think you get the idea.
Stay clean while you're growing and changing.

make mornings easy

We really hate starting our days with stress! Stress can be caused by not having the stuff we need where it's supposed to be... picture your dad running around the house searching for his keys when he's in a hurry to go somewhere. That's unwanted stress. It causes yelling and sweating and sometimes bad words fly! Let's avoid it.

Here's Aunt Jen's checklist to make middle school mornings start off right.
Use the first part before bed so when you get up in the morning you won't be running around like a crazy person.

• completed homework (this isn't a joke. really. do your homework)


• text books


• pens and pencils


• signed parent papers (like tests and excuse blanks)


• library books


• house key


• calculator


• lunch or money to buy lunch

Put all this in your backpack and don't leave home without it. Keep your backpack in the same spot every night.

Use this part in the morning to be fresh and ready to learn.

• get your body clean


• use deodorant on the armpits (nobody wants to sit beside a stinker)


• put on clean clothes and boys, clean boxers and socks, please


• eat breakfast


• brush your teeth and don't forget to wipe your mouth so you're not dragging around extra toothpaste on your cheeks all day


• check your hair (maybe use that invention called a comb)


• give your parents a hug and get to school on time


• don't forget your backpack

Use these steps each day and soon your middle school mornings will be so smooth you'll feel like a grownup. but cuter.

Tomorrow let's talk more about being fresh and clean.

first day of school plan

Let's think about the first day of school and get everything ready to make sure the day is really fun and easy. Three main things to think about are laundry, lunch and laughing.

1. Laundry. Decide what you want to wear. Make sure it still fits. Make sure it's clean. Moms can't do laundry at 7am on the same day you want to wear the outfit and have it ready by 7:15.


2. Lunch. Here's your first multiple choice question of the year. I like packing lunch the first day because _________ . a. no cafe lines b. I can bring food I like to eat c. more time to talk with my friends d. all of the above


3. Laughing. Hey people it's just one day. It's an important day, and with a bit of planning and being prepared, it will allow you to relax. Enjoy the day. Think of something funny that happened over the summer and put a smile on your face. People who see you smiling will think you're really friendly! Cool.

Oh, the answer to number 2 is d. also, eating breakfast will power up your energy to help you have a good day (and calm down that nervous tummy feeling).

Tomorrow, Aunt Jen's printable first day of school checklist! (you'll need a toothbrush for this one)

first days are fun

hi everyone!
It's the middle of August and we have some exciting firsts coming up. How do you feel about the first days of school? How about the first day in a new school? Did you know that teachers and even principals get excited and nervous on the first day of school too? All your Aunts, Uncles, parents and grandparents have all been nervous and excited about the first day of school and we survived.
Aunt Jen's ready to talk about some things we can do to remain calm and enjoy the beginning of the school year.
Ok everyone thinking about the first day of school take a deep breath. Good. Now take another one and let's get to planning for a great day.
1. Make sure you know where your school is and how you'll get there. Let's all be on time on the first day, please.
2. Make sure you have at least one writing stick for the first day and by writing stick I mean a PEN or PENCIL that you can write with. Teachers will want you to fill in some easy stuff like your name and phone number. Do you know your number?
3. Decide what you want to wear the first day and boys, make sure you wear clean socks.
Tomorrow we'll make a plan for the morning of the first day.