holiday parties

Are you looking forward to spending quality time away from school? Are you ready for some parties? Will your family parties be fun or dull? Are your friends having any parties you can look forward to? It's time to think about how to handle yourself at these parties. With a little preparation, you'll be able to survive nosey questions from Aunt Lisa and Uncle Dave's same old jokes. What will you do when you're not eating turkey or pie? Are you interesting? Do you have any funny stories to tell? Will you be forced to play with the little kids? What if you're the littlest kid in the house and they still treat you like you're 8?
Calm down. I don't want to put you into panic mode. Let's start with family parties. You probably know everyone at the party so you don't have to worry about impressing new people. What will you talk about? It's ok to plan ahead and think of a funny story to tell when someone asks you what's going on at school. Maybe you're trying out for a winter sport or the spring musical. You could talk about tryouts and what kind of stuff you had to do. think of details that make your stories interesting to adults. Tell about difficult drills or funny things the coach does if a kid does something wrong. Try asking questions, too. You don't always have to be the one answering stuff. Ask your Uncle if he played any school sports? Did they have cuts? Did they have to wear those crazy short-shorts with tall socks? Did they do any of the same drills that you're learning now?
If you're not into sports then maybe you have another fun activity you like to do. Can you bring along your bead box or favorite scrap book? Show your family something about yourself and dont' forget to ask about their interests, too. did they vote for the President? Did they feel happy or sad about the winners? Why, exactly do they have that opinion and do you agree?

One thing I don't want you to do at the parties is.... text. Be at the party. Be fun and talk to the people at the party. Do not sit in the corner and text. It's boring. It makes you look like you don't like anyone at the party. Ok, maybe you don't like anyone at the party. fake it. stay off your phone and get to know the people around you.
Have some more pie!

they hate it

You're just hangin out listening to some music. Music you like. You feel great.

Parent: turn that down. It's too loud.
You: I'm just listening to music.
Parent: I shouldn't be able to hear it through your headphones. Now turn it down.
You: OK. FINE. Now I can't even listen to good music!
Parent: That's not good music. It's just crap with kids screaming.
You: This is the best music ever. It's a lot better than your stupid music from ancient times!
Parent: What? My music is still great today. You have no idea what good music is.
You: Right, on the OLDIES stations. Do you even know any of the artists I like?
Parent: um, Carrie Underwood?
You: NO
Parent: ok, Aerosmith?
You: eeeewwwwwhhhh. No.
Parent: ok, then who do you think is so great?
You: (it doesn't matter what you say here unless your parent watches MTV with you, she will probably not know your music at all and thus, HATES it.)
Parent: well, what's the song about?
You: falling in love.
Parent: Why are you listening to that? You're too young to date and fall in love anyway.
You: You can't be serious!

This conversation has been taking place for a long, long time. Parents hate their kids' music. It's kind of a rule of nature. Parents hated Elvis when teenagers thought he was awesome. His dancing was way too sexual. Parents hated Chubby Checker because his music was too sexually suggestive. Parents despised the Beatles with their LONG HAIR and crazy romantic songs. They hated AC/DC, Kiss, Rolling Stones, Jackson 5, Rap. When RUN DMC started rapping parents thought it was ridiculous talking that was so stupid it would be gone in 5 minutes. They were so wrong. I could go on naming new kinds of music and parents who hated it. Yes, they hated it all.
It's just how things are in this world. Next time your parents start getting mad about your music, try turning the conversation around. Ask what your dad listened to when he was a teenager? Did his dad like it? What about your grandpa? Ask him what he listened to and if HIS dad liked it? Listen to what you like and if it's too loud, just turn it down for a while but keep listening. Remember this conversation when you're the parent! Rock on!

not at the table

The cell phone, while it is a very important part of our lives, does not belong at the table. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. I know it's a wild idea! Let me explain. When people are using the phone during meals, it makes me feel like whatever I might want to talk about is not important. If you're having lunch with ME, please talk to ME. Your other friends who are on the phone can wait. ok, you just give them a BRB message then get back to them a little later. Please try to let your phone have a rest during meals. I'm serious and it's just bad manners if you don't. Talk to the people you're sitting with. Ask a question about something. have a conversation with your family. Smile. Laugh. Have a nice, relaxing meal and eat your broccoli, too!

no, not the phone

What's the first thing that gets taken away when you're grounded? If it's your cell phone, join the club. lots of parents cut off the phone as soon as your report card has one tiny D. How can you be expected to communicate with anyone without a cell phone? Who lives in this world without texting? What did kids do 5 years ago? Talk in person? Talk on the home phone where people could actually hear what's being said? that's just ridiculous! Why do parents go right for the phone? It's really not fair.
Here's how adults look at this problem...
1. They expect you to get good grades and it seems like you spend more time on your phone than studying or doing any kind of school work.
2. That phone cost a lot to buy and a lot more every month for service.
3. They look at it as a privilege for you to use a phone of your own. Keep in mind that when they were teenagers, there was probably one phone in the house and it was in the kitchen on a really long cord. that's right, not even wireless. So, any time the family wanted to use the phone, anyone in the house could listen to what was going on. they had no privacy.
4. Adults worry about teens having too much privacy because there could be stuff going on in your life that they know nothing about. They don't like that feeling. Adults who love you want to know who you're talking to and what you're talking about.
My advice is to take your punishment. You don't have to like it. Also, spend some time doing school work at home where your parents can see you working. Knowing that you're trying to do better will give them the idea that you care about your education. After you do some work, ask about their technology back in the day. They didn't even have VCRs when they were little. Crazy, I know.

rowdy boys

Ok girls, let's talk about boys! Did you notice that middle school boys are always shoving each other? into lockers, into walls, down steps, up steps, in the cafeteria? Why are they so rough? What's the point of trying to hurt other kids? Boys are trying to get your attention! They think girls will be impressed with big strong guys who are tougher than other guys. Sometimes they run wildly through crowds of people. They shove and trip other guys so you will notice them and their big muscles. LOL. Lots of middle school guys are still pretty small. They haven't hit that exciting time of puberty. Just wait. Soon those tiny little boys who want you to be impressed because they can shove people will be actual big, strong guys with actual muscles. You'll want to hug them. Until then, and I'm talking about 9th and 10th grade, just watch and laugh. That's all they need. Those poor little guys are not ready for serious releationships. Soon, girls. Give them a couple years. Have fun watching them grow.

screaming girls

hey boys, do you know why so many middle school girls are screaming? at the bus stops, in the halls, at their lockers, at stores, at parks? Do you know? It's to get your attention. They scream so boys will notice them. The more they scream stuff, and who knows what they're saying it doesn't really matter, the more they like you. So what should you do? Look around. Listen. See if you might like any of those screaming cuties. You might start by saying HI. She might want to study together. Or text you. She might want to be your myspace friend. Get to know some stuff about her. The nicer you are, the more she will stop screaming to get your attention. Have fun and be friendly.

stop making stuff up

Really. don't live in imaginaryville. That's when you do something that you probably shouldn't have done. You get caught. You claim you didn't do anything. Let's picture this scene, played hundreds of times in middle schools around the country...
teacher: ok class, take out your book and turn to page 95.
you: take brand new yellow pencil and karate chop it into bits.
teacher: what was that?
you: nothing.
teacher: I see broken pencil bits all over your desk and the floor.
you: I didnt do it. that was here before.
teacher: Are you kidding me? I just heard the pencil get karate chopped. It was your hand chopping. Look, there are bits on your leg.
you: no, they must have fallen off the desk because I didn't do anything.
teacher: Stop acting like you didn't break that brand new pencil because you did it!!
you: what pencil?
other kids: ha ha ha ha
teacher: GGGRRRR I'm getting really upset with your behavior. clean up that mess and turn to page 95 right now.
you: I don't want to get splinters.
This scene can go on and on for a long time.
I call it living in imaginaryville. You know that you chopped the pencil. Everyone in the room knows you chopped the pencil. It takes a lot of patience for a teacher to listen to your LIES without wanting to put you in a sleeper hold so you stop talking and interrupting the lesson on page 95. Part of growing up is telling the truth about stupid stuff you did. Accept the consequences. Clean up the pencil bits. Turn to the page in your book and stop torturing the teacher.

Monday morning issues

You know, teachers are only human. They can help you with a lot of stuff but they can't do everything. Picture this scene...
Let's say you went out on Halloween night. You and your friends were having fun. It was nice weather. Everyone was outside and happy and eating candy. Then some rowdy kids came around. They started throwing candy. at you. at your friends. somehow hard things, maybe rocks, got mixed in with the candy. It hit you and it hurt. You yell something at the mean kids then you and your friends go somewhere else. Mean kids left. You came back out to have fun.
ff to Monday morning. School. Those mean kids go to your school. One of them is in your science class. Mean kid is such a jerk and brings up hitting you and your friends with soft candy corn. Mean kid says you acted like a baby because candy can't hurt anyone. You are big and smart so you ignore the mean kid. but meany won't let it go. Meany keeps saying stuff about Friday night. Finally you want to punch that kid. You don't of course, but you DO start to YELL at meany to SHUT UP and GET AWAY FROM ME! Now, Mr. Science teacher hears this commotion while you're supposed to be learning about cell structure but there is clearly something else going on.

Let's consider that scene from the teacher's point of view: mean kid won't give up on saying stupid stuff. You're getting madder by the moment and louder, too. Teacher is just trying to help you learn but now he has to hear all about the candy corn and the rocks and the stupid stuff that mean kid said and did. Keep in mind this is all during science class. on Monday. He's not in the mood for drama. He wants you to learn the science lesson. You and meany have made a big scene and now he has to deal with a problem that has nothing to do with school or him or science.

want some gum?

gum. scene 1:
boy chewing gum in school. (You should know that this school does not allow gum.)
girl asks boy for a piece of gum.
boy says sure. gets out a square of gum.
girl holds out her hand.
boy presses gum against girl's chest. lets go. attempts to watch gum slide down her shirt.
girl catches gum before it goes down too far.
girl's face is red.

gum. scene 2.
teacher witnessed scene 1.
teacher tells boy that putting gum against girl's chest is not appropriate school behavior.
boy says, "what? I was just giving her a piece of gum."
teacher says, "ok, can I have a piece? You'll put it in my hand, right? Not against my chest?"
boy says, "yeah." looks down. feels sorry that he was caught acting rude.
girl dashes off to class, glad that the boy knows what he did was wrong.

gum. scene 3.
boy begs teacher not to call his home to discuss his behavior.
boy says he's doing really well this year and he promises to treat girls nicely.

wrap up:
boys, girls do not want you to touch their chest during school. ever. don't snap their bras. don't touch their butts either.
girls, you don't have to accept that kind of treatment. let boys know that you won't put up with them trying to look down your shirt or touch you in ways they shouldn't.

principals are for???

Are you wondering what Principals do all day? They have big offices. They have secretaries. They can be found wandering all around the school. They come in early. They stay at school later than most people. Yeah, so why, you ask?
Think of the principal as the school manager. They are in charge of the building. Principals interview new teachers who want a job in your school. The principal makes decisions about the school schedule, lunch times, number of kids in your class and even which teachers you will have for science, math, reading and other subjects. Principals also handle lots of problems. They spend hours on the phone with parents, deal with discipline of kids, transportation issues, health emergencies and fire drills. The principal is also the boss of all the teachers. She's in charge of making sure the teachers are doing their best and following school rules and getting to work on time and filling in proper paperwork. Principals also make decisions about how the school spends it's money. They order text books, paper, computers, crayons, pencils, library books and basketballs. Think of all the supplies and furniture like chairs and desks. Principals had to choose all that stuff. Assemblies, activities, clubs, sports, and even dances have to be approved by the principal.
How can one person do all that work? Each principal has at least 2 college degrees and special training to learn how to be the leader of a school. They attend lots of meetings with other principals and school leaders to plan the best education for you. It's a big job!

what are teachers doing all day?

You know how schools have teacher in-service days? Kids stay home. Teachers work. What are they doing all day without any students? Who are they teaching? We know the kids try to sleep in, text, play, eat, hang out. Teachers are learning to be better teachers. I'm not kidding. They have meetings about how to motivate the kids who don't like school. They learn how to create better lessons. They have guest speakers from other states who teach them the best stuff that works with their kids. They listen to powerpoint presentations and take notes. They work on stuff in small groups. Sometimes teachers learn about better ways to communicate with your parents about things that happen at school. They talk about books. They are always learning and trying to do better. for YOU. Teachers also get to each lunch together without grading papers. They might even go out to a restaurant! and laugh together. on a school day. wow. That's what happens when you're not at school but the teachers are working.

why homecoming?

What's homecoming all about, you ask? Well let's break down the word... in reverse order. coming home. That's the point. Your school is welcoming the old people who have already graduated to come home. visit. see old friends, like the 1978 state soccer champions. The graduates could be out of school just one year or lots and lots of years. The idea is to see friends, check out what's new at the school, maybe even see some old teachers. Some schools have a festival and parade and even crown a king and queen. Kids in school make posters to advertise the candidates for king and queen then vote for the winners, who are announced during a sporting event. it's usually football but there's no law about that. Each school makes it's own traditions. Think of it as a big school reunion. You should go. Eat. Smile. Bring confetti. Laugh with your friends. Watch the oldsters laugh, too. Then come back to your home after you graduate. Be an oldster. Watch the kids play. Remember the fun you had back in the day.

clips and polish

Check the guys from tokio hotel. see nail polish? unusual hair?
Middle school students like to experiment. On themselves.
Office supplies as jewelry. Nail polish on boys. New hair colors. Black lip gloss. New kinds of outfits.
I say go for it. There are not a lot of adults who can go to work wearing paper clip earrings. Not many business men can wear purple nail polish to their meetings. American workers are not encouraged to have orange blue and green stripes in their hair. Generally shades of red and pink lip gloss are accepted, but only on the ladies.
Middle school is about the only time in our lives when we can test these things. It's all part of deciding who you are and who you want to become. Kids will let you know if your experiment is a success or a failure. Your teachers may have some input there, too. Yeah and parents might not like all the experiments either. trying on different clothes and accessories helps you decide what you actually like. It might be different from what everyone else likes right now. Each school has limits about exposed skin and "disruptive clothing that interferes with the learning process" but it's perfectly natural to want to try out other looks for yourself. If you can't dress the way you want to at school, then wait for nights and weekends. I don't want you to get suspended for disobeying the rules. Also, next time you see a kid wearing something unusual and interesting, let it go. He's just expressing his inner scientist or rock star or dancer.

pop quiz today

It's October. There's a pop quiz today. It's about school and you can grade yourself. I hope you're feeling comfortable in your classes and around the school.
How can you tell? Try this false / true quiz!
1. I know my schedule without checking it very much. F or T
2. Teachers smile at me and know my name. F or T
3. My lunch table is fun. I usually like going to lunch. F or T
4. I have not missed any homework assignments. Well, maybe one. F or T
5. I could show a new student how to get to the nurse or library. F or T
6. My locker is pretty clean and I can find stuff in there. F or T
7. School starts early but I'm getting there on time every day. F or T
8. There are nice kids in the hallways. F or T

Add up your results. False____ True ____

0-2 false. You're off to a very good start. You have adjusted well to life in middle school. Keep making new friends. Invite a quiet kid to join your lunch table.
3-5 false. You're doing pretty well but there is some room for improvement. Are you looking at the floor or daydreaming? Sit up straight in class. Pick one thing that was false and see if you can change it to true this month. Is there a club or activity you could join to make some new friends?
6-8 false. Life in middle school can be stressful. Lots of things can distract us from having a good day at school. If you're having trouble finding anything good about your school then you should probably talk to someone about it. Parents, teachers, guidance counselor, gym teachers.. just pick someone nice and start talking about why school days are dragging you down.

We all have good days and boring days and fun days and terrible days. The secret is to learn from the bad and enjoy the good. Have a happy day tomorrow.

party problem

You're having a party. YAY!
You're allowed to invite friends. YAY!
There's a limit on the friends. OK.
Mom says only 5 friends. OK.
Your list of best friends is 8. PROBLEM!
Now what will you do? You want a fun party with friends but you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if they're not invited.
First check with your parents to see if you could add a couple more people. If they say yes then everything's ok. No? Ok, on to plan B. Ask if you could have a shorter party but invite 8 friends. plan C. Ask if you could have the party outside at a park or playground and invite 8 friends. plan D. maybe you want to go lower, have a smaller party and just have 2 friends. sometimes managing a lot of friends at one party can be stressful, if you know what I mean. Your party should be easy and fun and happy. You want kids who are nice to eachother. Kids who are nice to you. Kids who like going to parties to have fun and celebrate. Look forward to the party and have lots of fun that day. Kids will understand that you can't invite everyone you know to every party.

oh no, parent - teacher night

Is your dad so embarrassing that if he goes to parent teacher night something terrible will happen? What if he tells one of his stupid fart jokes to your teacher? What if he actually farts in school? What if the teacher hears it? or smells it? I don't think you can ever go back to school again. just kidding.
Dads and teachers get along just fine. Of course, your dad might say something funny. Parents and teachers communicate differently than kids and teachers. Your teacher will think your dad is a happy, funny guy if he tells a dumb joke. Adults like that kind of stuff. The teacher will like your dad, too. When your teacher says, "hey I met your dad last night" and starts to smile, you'll know everything's cool. Ask if he did anything embarrassing. Say that you've heard all his crazy jokes a million times. Be proud that your dad took the time to go to school and meet your teachers. He wants to be sure that they are awesome people who are taking good care of you all day. which they are, of course. It's ok if he stands out in the teacher's mind as a funny person. Now if he was telling secrets about your stuffed animal collection.... or your special blanket that you've loved since you were born.... that's quite different. He would never do that. I hope. Don't get stressed about parent - teacher night. Let them meet each other. They all want you to do your best and be a smart, happy kid. Enjoy the attention. Have a great day at school tomorrow.

what's so funny?

Aunt Jen, kids in my class were laughing at a joke but I didn't get it.
I say you should just laugh along with them. Fake it. Smile.
It doesn't feel good when other people are laughing and you're not! Hey, it's not personal. They're kids laughing about something funny, not about you. That's good. You want to hang out with happy kids. Funny kids are.... um, funny. Maybe you missed something silly on a tv show. They could be laughing about a funny new video on youtube. Remember the big mac rap that everyone was talking about a while ago? If you never saw the video and you heard kids say CRISPY, you might have thought they were talking about lunch or a teacher's weird hair! If you saw the rap then you know it was a joke at the end about chicken. Watch it here. Keep in mind that the joke wasn't about you. You just laugh along and ask your best friend to explain the joke later. You could just blurt out "What's so funny?" They'll tell you. If they don't, it's really OK. Nobody gets every joke on earth.

investigate the desk

What's on your favorite teacher's desk? What's on that scary teacher's desk?

What can you tell about your teacher by looking at that desk?

a. she's disorganized

b. she really likes to collect cat statues

c. she went sailing during summer vacation

d. she has cute kids of her own

e. she has cool stuff that you could talk to her about

The answer is ????

Go ahead. Investigate your teacher's desk. Don't be rude about it. Just casually look around at the stuff on there. It's not a good idea to start picking things up or rearranging those cat satues. Teachers decorate their classrooms and desks with things they like. They bring in things from home. Things from trips. Artwork their kids made. Things their friends gave them. I bet there are even decorations students made or gave them.

Are there things on the desk that you have in common? Maybe you like bendy action figures. Check the desk for action figures. Teachers are interesting people who have lots of experiences to share with you. Your teacher would love to talk about the personal things on her desk. but not during math class. Wait for the right time and ask a nice question. Get to know your teacher better. You'll enjoy being in the classroom even more when you have good relationship with the person in charge. happy students + happy teachers = happy school days

Who doesn't like happy school days?

move it, kid!

What I mean is, move your body. Exercise. Run around. Chase your pet. Ride a bike. It feels great. It's good for your muscles and blood and brain and even your mood. It's good for your bones and digestive system, too.

When do you get any exercise? You go to school all day. Most middle schools don't allow recess. gym time is really short. Are you required to sit in your seat and not even wiggle around? The day is not very active.

After school, time on the computer is sitting again. So is watching tv. That's not enough movement for your growing body. Experts would like young people to get about an hour of movement each day. Back in the day, kids had to chop wood and harvest crops and do tons of heavy chores. they hardly ever got to sit around. Ask your grandparents about it!

Check out this site for more info about more good reasons to move it, kid!

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/take_care/exercise_wise.html

The site also has good ideas about how you can move your body.

really gross stuff

Which is the most disgusting thing you can experience in a classroom?
a. someone throws up
b. someone has a nose bleed
c. someone is picking his nose
d. someone is sniffing snot and refuses to use tissues
e. someone wipes his nose on his hand
f. someone coughs on your stuff
g. someone keeps sneezing right next to you
h. someone stuck gum under your desk and you touch it
i. someone picks scabs that bleed or ooze goo

All of the above are really gross. Equally gross to me. Actually the absolute grossest is when someone does any of the above things then touches your stuff. Picks up your pencil. Shares your book. Sits at your desk. Touches your computer. I'm getting the creeps just writing about it. So what can you do about this gross stuff? First, make sure you are not doing it. Any of it. That's right, we don't use sleeves in middle school. Go get tissues. Then use them. Then throw them in the trash. Then wash your hands. If your room doesn't have tissues then go to the bathroom and use toilet paper on your nose. Keep your gum away from the desks. Wrap it in a scrap of paper then throw it in the trash. don't leave your gum for other people. ever. Leave your scabs alone. Get a bandaid. Keep the scabs covered. your hands are dirty anyway and those scrapes won't heal when you touch them with your school-germ hands. If your stomach gets upset and you are going to throw up, take action. Get to the trash can. Get to the bathroom. Don't ask permission. Just get away from other kids and try your best to hit the can. Your teacher will understand. You won't get in trouble if you're sick.
Anyone who spends any time at school knows about all this gross stuff and more. Use good personal care. That means take care of yourself. Keep other people's germs out of your body. Try your best not to share your germs with other people. Use the bathroom sink at lunch time to wash your hands with soap before you touch your food.
If someone next to you seems to be trying to share germs tell them about the rules of self care.
Have a healthy, gross-free day!

check your behavior

Um, about your behavior in school... how's it going?
1. Are you bringing all materials to class? You always have to bring something to write with, notebooks, and textbooks. Teachers get really irritated with students who come to class without the basic stuff. Keep some extra pencils in your locker. Have at least one with you at all times. It shows that you are ready to get work done, even if you really dont feel like it. fake it. Let's say you got to class without your book and your teacher starts getting mad at you and you hold up your pencil and say, "I'm partly prepared." then show your best puppy dog smile. I think you'll just get a warning and you might even be allowed to go to your locker and get the book you need.
2. Are you concentrating on the lesson? Hey, see that teacher standing in front of your class talking? Look. The teacher is talking to you. Yes. YOU. Of course, she is talking to some other kids at the same time, but you are being given information that you need to learn. Pay attention. Oh, I know it's hard. There are cute kids in your class who you need to watch. There are silly kids who might do something really funny and you could miss it if you concentrate on the teacher. There are juicy notes to write. Concentrate now. Play later. Concentrate now. Daydream later.
3. Are you talking out of turn? Put 28 people in one room. They all have stuff to say. About different things. At the same time. The word for that scene is chaos. Complete confusion. You know classrooms can't operate like that. That's why there's one person in charge. The teacher. He will allow others to speak but they must do it in an organized manner. Are you being cooperative with the system of taking turns when talking in class? If not, it's time to start. It's part of growing up.
4. One more thing to check today. Are you acting goofy behind the teacher's back? You know exactly what I mean. He turns to write on the board. You make monkey faces. He turns to get something out of the bookcase. You act like an octopus. He helps another kid and isn't looking at you. You put a Kick Me sign on someone's back. While this behavior is funny, it's not allowed in middle school. Maybe it was ok in 3rd or 4th grade but now we all need to get work done and we don't really have time for your silly stuff. It's immature. It's time to stop doing that.

group poop

Middle schools are packed with group projects. Groups are everywhere. Whether you love groups or hate groups, you cannot go to school in this century and avoid group projects.
Good stuff about groups: working together, talking about stuff, sharing ideas, less work for you to do.
Poopy stuff about groups: working together, talking about stuff, sharing ideas, less work for you to do.
Did you get that? The same exact things that lots of kids really like about groups can also be the things kids hate about groups.
Working together: Some kids are shy and working together can be hard for them. We all know kids who are super bossy and think they should control everyone in the group. That's so annoying.
Talking about stuff: sometimes groups get off task and talk about embarrassing stuff or ask really personal questions or go on and on talking about football.
Sharing ideas: We have problems here with kids who only give ideas but refuse to listen to ideas and kids who don't want to give ideas in case someone says they're stupid. Sometimes there can be so many ideas that groups have trouble deciding on the best ones to use.
Less work to do: Are you wondering how anyone could think this is a poopy part of groups? Hey, not everyone likes to share their work. What if I want the details to be just right but you have sloppy handwriting? What if we decided to use purple paper but then you only had pink. Those are the kind of details that a group member might like to control.
getting along with group members isn't always easy. If your group is having arguments, try to think about the feelings of the other kids. Can you be the group member who understands that kids can be uncomfortable and feel weird in groups? Can you remind yourself to stay on task and avoid embarrassing topics? Can you remind everyone that doing your best is important for each person it the group? Oh, also, try to avoid running to the teacher in the first second of a problem. You're getting old enough to talk calmly with the group. Try to help the kids in your group to see that each person has different skills. That's something you learn from working in groups, which brings us to why middle schools are packed with group projects. Because we all need to learn to work together. Peacefully. Calmly. Kindly. Productively. Have a happy group!

teacher terrors

Yeah, some teachers can be scary. Have you ever heard that teachers should be really mean and strict in the beginning of the year to keep the kids on their best behavior? We know it's a terrible idea but some teachers think it works.
If your teacher seems too demanding, try not to panic. Don't take it personally. The scariness is not just meant for you. Remember, the teacher is trying to make the class behave.
Can you find any good things? Is the classroom decorated nicely? Are there pencils and paper and supplies for kids to use? Did the teacher explain classroom rules that are easy to understand? Well, all these things are signs of a teacher who loves middle school kids.
Check the lessons next. Do you understand the goal of a lesson? Can you get your homework finished in a reasonable time because you know what to do? Are there clear directions or steps to follow for projects?
Lots of us learn to love teachers who are demanding and push us to do our best even when we don't think we can. One more thing you could do is look for a student who had "scary teacher" last year. Ask what you can do to stay on the happy side, not the dark side.
Try to let yourself get adjusted to the teacher's style. See how you feel in 2 weeks. After that if you still feel scared then it might be time for your parents to have a little talk with the teacher.

hi honey, how was your day?

Here's the scene. You get home from school. You're in a pretty good mood.

parent: "hi honey, how was your day?"

you: "fine."

parent: "did you do anything fun today?"

you: "no."

parent: "do you have any homework?"

you: "I don't know."

parent: "what?"

you: "I don't know. Why do you keep asking me these stupid questions!"

parent: "Don't talk back to me. Go do your homework!"

you: "Fine! I don't know why you're always yelling at me!"

parent: "Watch your tone or you'll be grounded!"

you: "So what. You never let me do anything anyway!"

the end. You're both in a bad mood now.

It is possible to answer the old how was your day question without getting mad. Here's how you might play the scene with parent questions decoded.

parent: "hi honey, how was your day?" actually means what were you doing all day? were teachers nice to you? did anything embarrassing happen? do you have a crush on someone?

you: "It was ok. We did an experiment in science today." this answer is giving some information, which is what parents want. They miss you and worry about you. You're growing up and parents want to be sure everything is ok.

parent: "oh, cool. Is your science teacher nice?" actually means I hope the teachers (who I don't really know) are treating my sweetheart very nicely!
you: "yeah, she's nice. She wears this white lab coat when she does experiments." this answer is giving parents a little detail so they can picture what's going on at school.

parent: "do you have any homework?" actually means do you have any homework and how long will it take and do you need any special stuff to do the assignment?

you: "I have to write about the lab for homework." this answer is giving a detail about the work.

parent: "ok, let me know if you need help." actually means I'll help and I'll get to see what that lab was about.

you: "I will." think I just had an adult kind of conversation and that's cool.

the end. No anger.

hand outs and hand ins

parent papers. homework. announcements. meetings. practices. appointments.
Do you have all these papers to handle. Let's get organized.
Papers from school for parents? Ok, easy. Give them to your parents. You don't decide if your mom needs to know about the parent-teacher club. Just give her the papers from school.
Homework. Keep papers for each subject together. Don't throw your English homework in the science folder. You need it in English, not science. Teachers are not going to let you go to your locker all the time.
Announcements. Listen for news of things around your school. Look at signs. If you plan to play a winter sport, sign ups are in October. That seems really early but you won't know what to do if you're not looking and listening to announcements.
Meetings. Teams and music groups have meetings. Clubs have meetings. Write down the place and time. Tell your parents if you have to stay after school. Make sure you can get home after the meeting.
Practices. Try and get a schedule from your coach or director. Show it to your parents so they know your schedule.
Appointments. Lots of kids leave school for appointments at the orthodontist, doctor, and family stuff. Check with your teacher about any work you will (or did) miss while you're gone. Here's a good tip on teachers... DON'T say to a teacher, "Did you do anything while I was absent?"
Grrrrr. Teachers really hate that question. It makes them think that you're saying they probably didn't do any work at all. Ask like this, "Mr. Moyer, may I have the papers from yesterday's science lesson?" He'll say, "sure, there was one worksheet. Use page 61 in your book to help answer the questions." He'll think, wow. What a nice student. Really polite.

after school

take a break. you've been working hard all day. have a snack. let your brain rest. play.
Watch a show on tv, but just one. Turn off the tv at the end of one program. You can do it. Sometimes we sit in front of the tv for a really long time but there are other things to do. Like homework. After your break time, set up a quiet place to do your homework. With the tv off.
Sure, you might say, "Aunt Jen, I can concentrate with the tv on."
I don't think it's good for your brain. Let yourself have quiet time and focus on the school work. You'll get finished faster. The work will be higher quality. Your brain will thank you for the break from all that noise. Hey, don't try to sneak your ipod. I know what you're up to.
Also, put down your phone and stop texting.
Just get the school work finished. Then you can text.
Have a great day at school tomorrow.

aunt jen, i dropped my books in the hall

Dropping your books is really embarrassing. It's frustrating too because all those folders that you have been organizing could get messed up or wrecked. Tons of middle school kids drop stuff every day. Sometimes best freinds slam eachother's books to the floor just to be funny. Yeah, real funny. It's even worse if mean kids "accidentally" kick a notebook. This is not the time to get angry. Even if you hear kids saying stupid stuff to you, let it go for now. Concentrate on getting your materials off the floor and getting to class. Try to gather everything into your arms. Watch out for your fingers when you're down on the floor because they could easily get stepped on. If the hall is very full, just wait a few seconds for kids to clear out.
When you get to class take a deep breath. ask to go to the bathroom. Why the bathroom, you say? That gives you a chance to walk off your feelings, get a drink and have a little bit of quiet time. By the time you get back to the classroom you'll probably feel (almost) back to normal. Later you'll have to find time to check your stuff for damage or footprints.
Hey, book slamming is very common. Once or twice it is meant as a joke. Try not to take it personally. You know how some kids will do anything for attention. Resist the temptation to become a slammer yourself.
If your stuff keeps getting pushed out of your arms time after time then you are being bullied. It could be a different kid each time or it could be the same kid or maybe you don't even know who is doing it. Tell your teacher about the problem. Middle school teachers are great at dealing with bullies. The book slammer may even have to carry his books AND yours as punishment.

where's my reading folder?

Keep stuff together.

At school you have a storage area for your stuff, right? Is yours a locker? Cubby box? Desk? Shelf?

Whatever it is, the space starts off nice and clean when your teacher assigns it to you. Think about how you can organize it. Some experienced middle school students keep morning materials on one side and afternoon stuff on the other. Try to keep the reading folder next to the reading book. Put the math binder with the math book. If you have one big binder for lots of subjects make sure you put in pockets for loose papers. Some teachers do notebook checks and count that as part of the grade. Have you ever seen a binder with wrinkled and torn and dirty pages sticking out everywhere? That's the kind of binders we don't like in middle school.
Part of growing up includes taking care of your own materials. Teachers will help you to stay organized but it's your job to put the papers in the right place and keep track of everything. Every day. For each class. All year. It's a skill.

This skill needs to be used at home, too. Keep stuff together. Be sure your folders and books don't get mixed up with the mail. Keep your books separate from your brother's stuff.

Doing school work on the couch, yes, that's fine. Leaving your folders under the couch is not fine. Doing school work at the kitchen table, yes, that's fine too. Leaving your folders on the table is not fine. Finish one assignment then put the materials away. Get out the book and papers for the next assignment. Finish the work then put the materials away. Keep everything together. Oh, did I say that before? Yeah. That's because you have to do it.

Put everything back in your school bag before bed. If there's a paper to be signed or something you want to go over before school then leave them on top of the bag. Take care of the things you kept out in the morning but be sure to put everything in the bag before you head out the door.

I hope you won't be yelling, "WHERE'S MY READING FOLDER?"

Have a great school day.

avoid the grumpies

There is a lot to handle in middle school. The beginning of the year, new teachers, different classes, homework, rules, clothes, body stuff, more rules, friends, parents, chores, more and more rules, lockers, lunch, notes, love! Just listing the things kids have to deal with is giving me stress. Oh, what about cell phones and texting and myspace and growing and eating healthy and sports and instrument practice....AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
How do middle school kids do it all?
May I suggest, as your Aunt Jen, that you need more sleep? Any person trying to deal with all the changes and responsibilities that you are going through is expected to be tired.

Did you know that your cells do their best growing while you sleep? they do.
Did you know that sleeping allows your mind to dream? it does.
Did you know that if you don't get enough sleep you are going to be grumpy? you will.
Did you know that if you're grumpy you will probably get in arguments about stupid things? you will.
Did you know that if you argue with friends then they will be grumpy, too? they will.
Did you know that if you argue with parents or teachers you will get in trouble? you will.

Try an experiment. On yourself. Get one more hour of sleep each night for 4 nights. Keep track of how you feel. Notice how you pay attention during the day. Check if you are more organized. Observe your friends (like a scientist) and see if you think they might need more sleep, too. Now please, get off the computer and get some sleep. Nighty night!

lost in school: scene 2

You got lost but a kind person helped you get to the right classroom. Good. Now everyone else is already in there and you are late. Bad. What should you do if you're late to class?
A. charge into the room and shout ta da... I'm here!
B. don't go in. people will look at you.
C. go in calmly and explain that you accidentally went to art instead of math.
D. leave a note on the door: I was here. see you tomorrow.
E. crawl through the open door and with a quiet voice like you were lost in the desert, say, "water, water" and make panting sounds

While many of these choices look really good, the best one to go with is.... come on you know it's C. go in the classroom calmly. If the teacher even asks where you were then explain that you accidentally went to art but a nice person helped you to find math. The teacher will not scream at you. I promise. You may have last dibs on your favorite seat but you won't get in trouble for being lost in the first few days of school.
Answers A. and E. may have been selected by kids who like attention. They sometimes cover up nervous feelings with silly behavior. Everyone laughs. Hopefully the teacher will laugh, too. But not always and they're not the best choices for the beginning of the year.
Answers B. and D. feel like the best choices for very shy kids. They usually like school but hate when it feels like everyone is looking at them. In this scene, if kids are looking at you, they are thinking something like, "wow, I'm glad I didn't get lost this time." They will not scream out "Hey nice hair weirdo!" Even though you might feel very uncomfortable, just get in there and by the end of class, no one will remember that you were late.
Speaking of the end of class, maybe you could check your schedule and see if anyone in math will be going to gym next and can walk with you. Or what if you ask the math teacher for directions to the gym? That would work, too. Middle school teachers really are helpful and kind.

lost does not = loser

What if you get lost at school?
a. run out the back door and never come back
b. ask an 8th grader for help
c. drop to the floor and cry
d. ask a teacher for help
e. get out your cell phone and call 911

Asking the nearest teacher is the best choice. Be clear about where you're going like this...
you: " Could you please help me get to Miss Keller's math class?"
teacher: "Sure! Go down the hall to the blah blah blah directions done...
you: "Thank you!" then walk to the class. not lost any more.

Let me break this scene down for you.
1. You say please, the magic word.
teacher thinks: what a polite kid. I'll help.

2. You say the name of the teacher you need to find and the subject she teaches.
teacher thinks: yeah, I know where Miss Keller's room is. she's my friend.
IF you had just said how do I get to math or math in room 217, it would be a little harder for the teacher to picture the room number and get you there. You know there are lots of math rooms in the school.

3. You say Thank you!
teacher thinks: what a polite kid. I'm glad I helped. Maybe I'll walk over to Miss Keller's room to make sure the nice kid got there ok.

next blog: scene 2: getting to class late

smelling good or just smelly?

Yesterday we got really fresh and clean. Today let's think about the stuff you can put on after you're clean to smell and look even better... or not. Most children don't use any body products like lotion, deodorant, hair gels, body sprays and perfumes or colognes. Middle school has tons of kids who love to experiment with all these products and we know they sometimes try all of them on the same day. Wow. That's a lot of smelly stuff on one person.
Hey everyone, after your body is clean and dry use deodorant + antiperspirant under your arms. They both come in one thing. Lots of people like the stick that you just rub under there 2 or 3 times. Up/down. Up/down. That should cover it for one day. Of course there are also spray and gel deodorants, too. The deodorant part keeps us from getting stinky and the antiperspirant stops the sweaty pits. Now if you play hard, get really hot, and run a lot you're going to get sweaty and stinky no matter how much stuff is on your pits. That's where the soap and water come in again.
Body sprays smell good. For boys I'm thinking about Axe and Tag type sprays. Girls can get hundreds of good smelling sprays and some have tiny bits of glitter. This product goes on the skin near the neck or the front of your shirt. Hold it kind of far away from your skin so it's not really a blast but a gentle mist. Don't go spraying the entire body because the smell will be too strong. Your room should not have a cloud of body spray floating around when you're done.
News Flash!! Face lotion may be used by boys! There are gentle lotions that keep the skin on our faces fresh all day. They can stop pimples from popping out. They often include sun screen. They smell nice but not too pink, if you know what I mean. If you use face wash, and I'm talking to boys and girls here, there's probably a daily moisturizer to help control breakouts. Try it and see how your skin feels. Put the lotion on your finger tips then make little spots of it on your face. Use the finger tips to rub it over your whole face.
Wait. Before you go, check for globs and rub them away with the back of your hand or a tissue.
Smile and have a great day.

how to be fresh and clean for school

Clean feels good and smells good, too. Start with your skin. All of your skin. And use soap not just water. Some people use body wash which looks like shampoo but is for the skin. As you hit that wacky time of puberty, your skin will begin to change. In fact, your whole body will do strange and unusual things during these years. Don't worry. You can work with these changes when you know what to expect. Expect pimples and new hair where there wasn't any hair before. Oh, and those private areas will be changing, too. It's all part of moving from child to adult and it takes a long time.

Ok, now that your body is clean, work gently on your face. If your skin is beginning to get pimples, use an acne clearing face wash. Most of these products have a chemical called salicylic acid which slows the dead skin cells from clumping up and clogging pores. Start with the mild kind (not extra strength) to be sure you don't get a rash. If your skin feels really tight after using the face wash, it's probably too strong for you. It's also available in a small tube and you just put little dabs of it on any pimples you have.
Now up to the top of your body. Wash your hair to remove dirt and oil. Use shampoo not just water. Rinse out all the shampoo which takes the dirt off of your hair with it.

Check your finger nails for dirt and get rid of it. We don't carry dirt in our finger nails in middle school people. It may have been ok in elementary grades because of playgrounds and mud pies. No more nail mud for you. Hey, check your toes for dirt while you're at it.

On to the teeth. Do you have braces? Well it doesn't matter. Get your teeth clean every day. At least once a day brush each tooth carefully with toothpaste not just the ones in front. Learn how to floss between your teeth, too. If your toothbrush looks scruffy with bent and twisted bristles please get a new one which will do a much better job of cleaning. Think of trying to write with and unsharpened pencil. You can't brush with an unbrushy flat brush. One more thing, rinse your mouth and make sure you're not walking around with extra toothpaste on your face.

Have a great day and repeat the whole thing tomorrow and the next day and the next... I think you get the idea.
Stay clean while you're growing and changing.

make mornings easy

We really hate starting our days with stress! Stress can be caused by not having the stuff we need where it's supposed to be... picture your dad running around the house searching for his keys when he's in a hurry to go somewhere. That's unwanted stress. It causes yelling and sweating and sometimes bad words fly! Let's avoid it.

Here's Aunt Jen's checklist to make middle school mornings start off right.
Use the first part before bed so when you get up in the morning you won't be running around like a crazy person.

• completed homework (this isn't a joke. really. do your homework)


• text books


• pens and pencils


• signed parent papers (like tests and excuse blanks)


• library books


• house key


• calculator


• lunch or money to buy lunch

Put all this in your backpack and don't leave home without it. Keep your backpack in the same spot every night.

Use this part in the morning to be fresh and ready to learn.

• get your body clean


• use deodorant on the armpits (nobody wants to sit beside a stinker)


• put on clean clothes and boys, clean boxers and socks, please


• eat breakfast


• brush your teeth and don't forget to wipe your mouth so you're not dragging around extra toothpaste on your cheeks all day


• check your hair (maybe use that invention called a comb)


• give your parents a hug and get to school on time


• don't forget your backpack

Use these steps each day and soon your middle school mornings will be so smooth you'll feel like a grownup. but cuter.

Tomorrow let's talk more about being fresh and clean.

first day of school plan

Let's think about the first day of school and get everything ready to make sure the day is really fun and easy. Three main things to think about are laundry, lunch and laughing.

1. Laundry. Decide what you want to wear. Make sure it still fits. Make sure it's clean. Moms can't do laundry at 7am on the same day you want to wear the outfit and have it ready by 7:15.


2. Lunch. Here's your first multiple choice question of the year. I like packing lunch the first day because _________ . a. no cafe lines b. I can bring food I like to eat c. more time to talk with my friends d. all of the above


3. Laughing. Hey people it's just one day. It's an important day, and with a bit of planning and being prepared, it will allow you to relax. Enjoy the day. Think of something funny that happened over the summer and put a smile on your face. People who see you smiling will think you're really friendly! Cool.

Oh, the answer to number 2 is d. also, eating breakfast will power up your energy to help you have a good day (and calm down that nervous tummy feeling).

Tomorrow, Aunt Jen's printable first day of school checklist! (you'll need a toothbrush for this one)

first days are fun

hi everyone!
It's the middle of August and we have some exciting firsts coming up. How do you feel about the first days of school? How about the first day in a new school? Did you know that teachers and even principals get excited and nervous on the first day of school too? All your Aunts, Uncles, parents and grandparents have all been nervous and excited about the first day of school and we survived.
Aunt Jen's ready to talk about some things we can do to remain calm and enjoy the beginning of the school year.
Ok everyone thinking about the first day of school take a deep breath. Good. Now take another one and let's get to planning for a great day.
1. Make sure you know where your school is and how you'll get there. Let's all be on time on the first day, please.
2. Make sure you have at least one writing stick for the first day and by writing stick I mean a PEN or PENCIL that you can write with. Teachers will want you to fill in some easy stuff like your name and phone number. Do you know your number?
3. Decide what you want to wear the first day and boys, make sure you wear clean socks.
Tomorrow we'll make a plan for the morning of the first day.