tell on yourself

Possible crisis:

you're using a laptop at school. that's not the problem.

you're typing a project on the laptop. that's not the problem.

you lean over to help your neighbor with spelling. not the problem. (although sometimes you can get in trouble for that)

while you were leaning over a key popped off the laptop. could be a problem.

you toss the loose key on the floor. ooooh bad idea.

you try to conceal the key behind the table leg on the floor. ok.

you log off the laptop and put it away. um

you head out to your next class. the guilt isn't too bad.

attention... here comes the problem.

the next kid wants to use the laptop you had but it's missing a key. that kid tells the teacher. the teacher investigates and discovers YOU had the laptop last period.

teacher calls you from Spanish class to come to the library where the laptop sits without a key. you walk really slowly thinking about your lie.

The best course of action here is to tell on yourself. I'm not kidding. The teacher is only going to get angrier the more you lie. You're caught. Take your punishment quietly. Say you're sorry for breaking the key. Say you should have told on yourself right away. Say you're sorry for trying to hide the broken piece. Say that you just got really worried and kind of panicked. Look sorry. a tiny tear in the corner of your eye would be good.

If you decide not to tell on yourself but go with the lies then the problem will just grow and the punishment will grow, too. Your principal will be notified that you damaged expensive school property. Your parents will be notified that they have a large computer repair bill. You may lose computer privileges at school. This can get way bigger that you want it to.

People mess up. We learn to take the consequences and don't mess up that way again. usually.

bad words

Did you ever hear a teacher drop a bad word on a class or a kid? Was it an accident or on purpose? Is the teacher angry a lot or does he just have a problem with potty mouth?
See if you can tell the difference.
examples:
a. Hey everyone, clean up your sh.... I mean clean up your papers because this class period is almost over.
b, Hey everyone, clean up your sh.... sheets of paper because this class period is almost over.
c. Hey everyone, clean up your shit and get out of my room right now!
d. Hey (insert name of naughty kid), take your shit and get out of my room right now!

let's discuss.
a. I think this was an accident. Teacher might have a slightly red face and really doesn't mean to curse at the class.
b. I think this was also a slip of the tongue but the teacher smoothly covered it up with another SH word. Clever.
c. This looks like an angry moment. Teachers can sometimes be pushed over the politeness and patience edge. Can't get in trouble for this one. Not the best choice of words though.
d. A teacher has lost professional control here. Cursing directly at one student is not acceptable behavior for teachers. They are human and do occasionally make mistakes. They don't take guns to clubs and shoot themselves in the leg and have to miss the rest of the school year!
So what should you do if your teacher drops a bad word? It's up to you. If it happens often (and it should not) you can talk to your parents about it. You could also talk to a guidance counselor or another teacher you trust and tell them that the cursing is starting to bother you. It's ok to talk about it. The teacher might not realize that the bad words are getting out of control. You deserve to have happy school days, not stressful ones.

stop making stuff up

Really. don't live in imaginaryville. That's when you do something that you probably shouldn't have done. You get caught. You claim you didn't do anything. Let's picture this scene, played hundreds of times in middle schools around the country...
teacher: ok class, take out your book and turn to page 95.
you: take brand new yellow pencil and karate chop it into bits.
teacher: what was that?
you: nothing.
teacher: I see broken pencil bits all over your desk and the floor.
you: I didnt do it. that was here before.
teacher: Are you kidding me? I just heard the pencil get karate chopped. It was your hand chopping. Look, there are bits on your leg.
you: no, they must have fallen off the desk because I didn't do anything.
teacher: Stop acting like you didn't break that brand new pencil because you did it!!
you: what pencil?
other kids: ha ha ha ha
teacher: GGGRRRR I'm getting really upset with your behavior. clean up that mess and turn to page 95 right now.
you: I don't want to get splinters.
This scene can go on and on for a long time.
I call it living in imaginaryville. You know that you chopped the pencil. Everyone in the room knows you chopped the pencil. It takes a lot of patience for a teacher to listen to your LIES without wanting to put you in a sleeper hold so you stop talking and interrupting the lesson on page 95. Part of growing up is telling the truth about stupid stuff you did. Accept the consequences. Clean up the pencil bits. Turn to the page in your book and stop torturing the teacher.

Monday morning issues

You know, teachers are only human. They can help you with a lot of stuff but they can't do everything. Picture this scene...
Let's say you went out on Halloween night. You and your friends were having fun. It was nice weather. Everyone was outside and happy and eating candy. Then some rowdy kids came around. They started throwing candy. at you. at your friends. somehow hard things, maybe rocks, got mixed in with the candy. It hit you and it hurt. You yell something at the mean kids then you and your friends go somewhere else. Mean kids left. You came back out to have fun.
ff to Monday morning. School. Those mean kids go to your school. One of them is in your science class. Mean kid is such a jerk and brings up hitting you and your friends with soft candy corn. Mean kid says you acted like a baby because candy can't hurt anyone. You are big and smart so you ignore the mean kid. but meany won't let it go. Meany keeps saying stuff about Friday night. Finally you want to punch that kid. You don't of course, but you DO start to YELL at meany to SHUT UP and GET AWAY FROM ME! Now, Mr. Science teacher hears this commotion while you're supposed to be learning about cell structure but there is clearly something else going on.

Let's consider that scene from the teacher's point of view: mean kid won't give up on saying stupid stuff. You're getting madder by the moment and louder, too. Teacher is just trying to help you learn but now he has to hear all about the candy corn and the rocks and the stupid stuff that mean kid said and did. Keep in mind this is all during science class. on Monday. He's not in the mood for drama. He wants you to learn the science lesson. You and meany have made a big scene and now he has to deal with a problem that has nothing to do with school or him or science.

want some gum?

gum. scene 1:
boy chewing gum in school. (You should know that this school does not allow gum.)
girl asks boy for a piece of gum.
boy says sure. gets out a square of gum.
girl holds out her hand.
boy presses gum against girl's chest. lets go. attempts to watch gum slide down her shirt.
girl catches gum before it goes down too far.
girl's face is red.

gum. scene 2.
teacher witnessed scene 1.
teacher tells boy that putting gum against girl's chest is not appropriate school behavior.
boy says, "what? I was just giving her a piece of gum."
teacher says, "ok, can I have a piece? You'll put it in my hand, right? Not against my chest?"
boy says, "yeah." looks down. feels sorry that he was caught acting rude.
girl dashes off to class, glad that the boy knows what he did was wrong.

gum. scene 3.
boy begs teacher not to call his home to discuss his behavior.
boy says he's doing really well this year and he promises to treat girls nicely.

wrap up:
boys, girls do not want you to touch their chest during school. ever. don't snap their bras. don't touch their butts either.
girls, you don't have to accept that kind of treatment. let boys know that you won't put up with them trying to look down your shirt or touch you in ways they shouldn't.

principals are for???

Are you wondering what Principals do all day? They have big offices. They have secretaries. They can be found wandering all around the school. They come in early. They stay at school later than most people. Yeah, so why, you ask?
Think of the principal as the school manager. They are in charge of the building. Principals interview new teachers who want a job in your school. The principal makes decisions about the school schedule, lunch times, number of kids in your class and even which teachers you will have for science, math, reading and other subjects. Principals also handle lots of problems. They spend hours on the phone with parents, deal with discipline of kids, transportation issues, health emergencies and fire drills. The principal is also the boss of all the teachers. She's in charge of making sure the teachers are doing their best and following school rules and getting to work on time and filling in proper paperwork. Principals also make decisions about how the school spends it's money. They order text books, paper, computers, crayons, pencils, library books and basketballs. Think of all the supplies and furniture like chairs and desks. Principals had to choose all that stuff. Assemblies, activities, clubs, sports, and even dances have to be approved by the principal.
How can one person do all that work? Each principal has at least 2 college degrees and special training to learn how to be the leader of a school. They attend lots of meetings with other principals and school leaders to plan the best education for you. It's a big job!

oh no, parent - teacher night

Is your dad so embarrassing that if he goes to parent teacher night something terrible will happen? What if he tells one of his stupid fart jokes to your teacher? What if he actually farts in school? What if the teacher hears it? or smells it? I don't think you can ever go back to school again. just kidding.
Dads and teachers get along just fine. Of course, your dad might say something funny. Parents and teachers communicate differently than kids and teachers. Your teacher will think your dad is a happy, funny guy if he tells a dumb joke. Adults like that kind of stuff. The teacher will like your dad, too. When your teacher says, "hey I met your dad last night" and starts to smile, you'll know everything's cool. Ask if he did anything embarrassing. Say that you've heard all his crazy jokes a million times. Be proud that your dad took the time to go to school and meet your teachers. He wants to be sure that they are awesome people who are taking good care of you all day. which they are, of course. It's ok if he stands out in the teacher's mind as a funny person. Now if he was telling secrets about your stuffed animal collection.... or your special blanket that you've loved since you were born.... that's quite different. He would never do that. I hope. Don't get stressed about parent - teacher night. Let them meet each other. They all want you to do your best and be a smart, happy kid. Enjoy the attention. Have a great day at school tomorrow.

investigate the desk

What's on your favorite teacher's desk? What's on that scary teacher's desk?

What can you tell about your teacher by looking at that desk?

a. she's disorganized

b. she really likes to collect cat statues

c. she went sailing during summer vacation

d. she has cute kids of her own

e. she has cool stuff that you could talk to her about

The answer is ????

Go ahead. Investigate your teacher's desk. Don't be rude about it. Just casually look around at the stuff on there. It's not a good idea to start picking things up or rearranging those cat satues. Teachers decorate their classrooms and desks with things they like. They bring in things from home. Things from trips. Artwork their kids made. Things their friends gave them. I bet there are even decorations students made or gave them.

Are there things on the desk that you have in common? Maybe you like bendy action figures. Check the desk for action figures. Teachers are interesting people who have lots of experiences to share with you. Your teacher would love to talk about the personal things on her desk. but not during math class. Wait for the right time and ask a nice question. Get to know your teacher better. You'll enjoy being in the classroom even more when you have good relationship with the person in charge. happy students + happy teachers = happy school days

Who doesn't like happy school days?

check your behavior

Um, about your behavior in school... how's it going?
1. Are you bringing all materials to class? You always have to bring something to write with, notebooks, and textbooks. Teachers get really irritated with students who come to class without the basic stuff. Keep some extra pencils in your locker. Have at least one with you at all times. It shows that you are ready to get work done, even if you really dont feel like it. fake it. Let's say you got to class without your book and your teacher starts getting mad at you and you hold up your pencil and say, "I'm partly prepared." then show your best puppy dog smile. I think you'll just get a warning and you might even be allowed to go to your locker and get the book you need.
2. Are you concentrating on the lesson? Hey, see that teacher standing in front of your class talking? Look. The teacher is talking to you. Yes. YOU. Of course, she is talking to some other kids at the same time, but you are being given information that you need to learn. Pay attention. Oh, I know it's hard. There are cute kids in your class who you need to watch. There are silly kids who might do something really funny and you could miss it if you concentrate on the teacher. There are juicy notes to write. Concentrate now. Play later. Concentrate now. Daydream later.
3. Are you talking out of turn? Put 28 people in one room. They all have stuff to say. About different things. At the same time. The word for that scene is chaos. Complete confusion. You know classrooms can't operate like that. That's why there's one person in charge. The teacher. He will allow others to speak but they must do it in an organized manner. Are you being cooperative with the system of taking turns when talking in class? If not, it's time to start. It's part of growing up.
4. One more thing to check today. Are you acting goofy behind the teacher's back? You know exactly what I mean. He turns to write on the board. You make monkey faces. He turns to get something out of the bookcase. You act like an octopus. He helps another kid and isn't looking at you. You put a Kick Me sign on someone's back. While this behavior is funny, it's not allowed in middle school. Maybe it was ok in 3rd or 4th grade but now we all need to get work done and we don't really have time for your silly stuff. It's immature. It's time to stop doing that.

teacher terrors

Yeah, some teachers can be scary. Have you ever heard that teachers should be really mean and strict in the beginning of the year to keep the kids on their best behavior? We know it's a terrible idea but some teachers think it works.
If your teacher seems too demanding, try not to panic. Don't take it personally. The scariness is not just meant for you. Remember, the teacher is trying to make the class behave.
Can you find any good things? Is the classroom decorated nicely? Are there pencils and paper and supplies for kids to use? Did the teacher explain classroom rules that are easy to understand? Well, all these things are signs of a teacher who loves middle school kids.
Check the lessons next. Do you understand the goal of a lesson? Can you get your homework finished in a reasonable time because you know what to do? Are there clear directions or steps to follow for projects?
Lots of us learn to love teachers who are demanding and push us to do our best even when we don't think we can. One more thing you could do is look for a student who had "scary teacher" last year. Ask what you can do to stay on the happy side, not the dark side.
Try to let yourself get adjusted to the teacher's style. See how you feel in 2 weeks. After that if you still feel scared then it might be time for your parents to have a little talk with the teacher.

hand outs and hand ins

parent papers. homework. announcements. meetings. practices. appointments.
Do you have all these papers to handle. Let's get organized.
Papers from school for parents? Ok, easy. Give them to your parents. You don't decide if your mom needs to know about the parent-teacher club. Just give her the papers from school.
Homework. Keep papers for each subject together. Don't throw your English homework in the science folder. You need it in English, not science. Teachers are not going to let you go to your locker all the time.
Announcements. Listen for news of things around your school. Look at signs. If you plan to play a winter sport, sign ups are in October. That seems really early but you won't know what to do if you're not looking and listening to announcements.
Meetings. Teams and music groups have meetings. Clubs have meetings. Write down the place and time. Tell your parents if you have to stay after school. Make sure you can get home after the meeting.
Practices. Try and get a schedule from your coach or director. Show it to your parents so they know your schedule.
Appointments. Lots of kids leave school for appointments at the orthodontist, doctor, and family stuff. Check with your teacher about any work you will (or did) miss while you're gone. Here's a good tip on teachers... DON'T say to a teacher, "Did you do anything while I was absent?"
Grrrrr. Teachers really hate that question. It makes them think that you're saying they probably didn't do any work at all. Ask like this, "Mr. Moyer, may I have the papers from yesterday's science lesson?" He'll say, "sure, there was one worksheet. Use page 61 in your book to help answer the questions." He'll think, wow. What a nice student. Really polite.

lost in school: scene 2

You got lost but a kind person helped you get to the right classroom. Good. Now everyone else is already in there and you are late. Bad. What should you do if you're late to class?
A. charge into the room and shout ta da... I'm here!
B. don't go in. people will look at you.
C. go in calmly and explain that you accidentally went to art instead of math.
D. leave a note on the door: I was here. see you tomorrow.
E. crawl through the open door and with a quiet voice like you were lost in the desert, say, "water, water" and make panting sounds

While many of these choices look really good, the best one to go with is.... come on you know it's C. go in the classroom calmly. If the teacher even asks where you were then explain that you accidentally went to art but a nice person helped you to find math. The teacher will not scream at you. I promise. You may have last dibs on your favorite seat but you won't get in trouble for being lost in the first few days of school.
Answers A. and E. may have been selected by kids who like attention. They sometimes cover up nervous feelings with silly behavior. Everyone laughs. Hopefully the teacher will laugh, too. But not always and they're not the best choices for the beginning of the year.
Answers B. and D. feel like the best choices for very shy kids. They usually like school but hate when it feels like everyone is looking at them. In this scene, if kids are looking at you, they are thinking something like, "wow, I'm glad I didn't get lost this time." They will not scream out "Hey nice hair weirdo!" Even though you might feel very uncomfortable, just get in there and by the end of class, no one will remember that you were late.
Speaking of the end of class, maybe you could check your schedule and see if anyone in math will be going to gym next and can walk with you. Or what if you ask the math teacher for directions to the gym? That would work, too. Middle school teachers really are helpful and kind.

lost does not = loser

What if you get lost at school?
a. run out the back door and never come back
b. ask an 8th grader for help
c. drop to the floor and cry
d. ask a teacher for help
e. get out your cell phone and call 911

Asking the nearest teacher is the best choice. Be clear about where you're going like this...
you: " Could you please help me get to Miss Keller's math class?"
teacher: "Sure! Go down the hall to the blah blah blah directions done...
you: "Thank you!" then walk to the class. not lost any more.

Let me break this scene down for you.
1. You say please, the magic word.
teacher thinks: what a polite kid. I'll help.

2. You say the name of the teacher you need to find and the subject she teaches.
teacher thinks: yeah, I know where Miss Keller's room is. she's my friend.
IF you had just said how do I get to math or math in room 217, it would be a little harder for the teacher to picture the room number and get you there. You know there are lots of math rooms in the school.

3. You say Thank you!
teacher thinks: what a polite kid. I'm glad I helped. Maybe I'll walk over to Miss Keller's room to make sure the nice kid got there ok.

next blog: scene 2: getting to class late