tell on yourself

Possible crisis:

you're using a laptop at school. that's not the problem.

you're typing a project on the laptop. that's not the problem.

you lean over to help your neighbor with spelling. not the problem. (although sometimes you can get in trouble for that)

while you were leaning over a key popped off the laptop. could be a problem.

you toss the loose key on the floor. ooooh bad idea.

you try to conceal the key behind the table leg on the floor. ok.

you log off the laptop and put it away. um

you head out to your next class. the guilt isn't too bad.

attention... here comes the problem.

the next kid wants to use the laptop you had but it's missing a key. that kid tells the teacher. the teacher investigates and discovers YOU had the laptop last period.

teacher calls you from Spanish class to come to the library where the laptop sits without a key. you walk really slowly thinking about your lie.

The best course of action here is to tell on yourself. I'm not kidding. The teacher is only going to get angrier the more you lie. You're caught. Take your punishment quietly. Say you're sorry for breaking the key. Say you should have told on yourself right away. Say you're sorry for trying to hide the broken piece. Say that you just got really worried and kind of panicked. Look sorry. a tiny tear in the corner of your eye would be good.

If you decide not to tell on yourself but go with the lies then the problem will just grow and the punishment will grow, too. Your principal will be notified that you damaged expensive school property. Your parents will be notified that they have a large computer repair bill. You may lose computer privileges at school. This can get way bigger that you want it to.

People mess up. We learn to take the consequences and don't mess up that way again. usually.

purple pants?

Can you picture a really tall 8th grade boy who came to school wearing bright purple skinny jeans? He's also wearing a black and white belt, bright yellow t-shirt with green swirls and his shoes match the shirt... Is this a fashion forward guy setting trends or an unfortunate fashion failure who should return that outfit to the store?
Picture a girl who is wearing a brand new sweater dress that's cute but too small for her body so she looks kind of lumpy even though she's not?
This time of year is like a fashion show at school. We get to see all kinds new and unique outfits - some cool, some scary, some hilarious. Lots of kids (and teachers) get clothes for Christmas and other holidays then can't wait to wear the new stuff to school. Look around this week. See if you agree with the fashion risks some kids are willing to take. Maybe you're trying out some new fashion looks, too. Have fun with your clothes and be nice to that kid in the purple pants by not singing Barney the dinosaur songs. Who knows, the purple thing might catch on and we'll all be wearing them next year!

bad words

Did you ever hear a teacher drop a bad word on a class or a kid? Was it an accident or on purpose? Is the teacher angry a lot or does he just have a problem with potty mouth?
See if you can tell the difference.
examples:
a. Hey everyone, clean up your sh.... I mean clean up your papers because this class period is almost over.
b, Hey everyone, clean up your sh.... sheets of paper because this class period is almost over.
c. Hey everyone, clean up your shit and get out of my room right now!
d. Hey (insert name of naughty kid), take your shit and get out of my room right now!

let's discuss.
a. I think this was an accident. Teacher might have a slightly red face and really doesn't mean to curse at the class.
b. I think this was also a slip of the tongue but the teacher smoothly covered it up with another SH word. Clever.
c. This looks like an angry moment. Teachers can sometimes be pushed over the politeness and patience edge. Can't get in trouble for this one. Not the best choice of words though.
d. A teacher has lost professional control here. Cursing directly at one student is not acceptable behavior for teachers. They are human and do occasionally make mistakes. They don't take guns to clubs and shoot themselves in the leg and have to miss the rest of the school year!
So what should you do if your teacher drops a bad word? It's up to you. If it happens often (and it should not) you can talk to your parents about it. You could also talk to a guidance counselor or another teacher you trust and tell them that the cursing is starting to bother you. It's ok to talk about it. The teacher might not realize that the bad words are getting out of control. You deserve to have happy school days, not stressful ones.

want some gum?

gum. scene 1:
boy chewing gum in school. (You should know that this school does not allow gum.)
girl asks boy for a piece of gum.
boy says sure. gets out a square of gum.
girl holds out her hand.
boy presses gum against girl's chest. lets go. attempts to watch gum slide down her shirt.
girl catches gum before it goes down too far.
girl's face is red.

gum. scene 2.
teacher witnessed scene 1.
teacher tells boy that putting gum against girl's chest is not appropriate school behavior.
boy says, "what? I was just giving her a piece of gum."
teacher says, "ok, can I have a piece? You'll put it in my hand, right? Not against my chest?"
boy says, "yeah." looks down. feels sorry that he was caught acting rude.
girl dashes off to class, glad that the boy knows what he did was wrong.

gum. scene 3.
boy begs teacher not to call his home to discuss his behavior.
boy says he's doing really well this year and he promises to treat girls nicely.

wrap up:
boys, girls do not want you to touch their chest during school. ever. don't snap their bras. don't touch their butts either.
girls, you don't have to accept that kind of treatment. let boys know that you won't put up with them trying to look down your shirt or touch you in ways they shouldn't.

oh no, parent - teacher night

Is your dad so embarrassing that if he goes to parent teacher night something terrible will happen? What if he tells one of his stupid fart jokes to your teacher? What if he actually farts in school? What if the teacher hears it? or smells it? I don't think you can ever go back to school again. just kidding.
Dads and teachers get along just fine. Of course, your dad might say something funny. Parents and teachers communicate differently than kids and teachers. Your teacher will think your dad is a happy, funny guy if he tells a dumb joke. Adults like that kind of stuff. The teacher will like your dad, too. When your teacher says, "hey I met your dad last night" and starts to smile, you'll know everything's cool. Ask if he did anything embarrassing. Say that you've heard all his crazy jokes a million times. Be proud that your dad took the time to go to school and meet your teachers. He wants to be sure that they are awesome people who are taking good care of you all day. which they are, of course. It's ok if he stands out in the teacher's mind as a funny person. Now if he was telling secrets about your stuffed animal collection.... or your special blanket that you've loved since you were born.... that's quite different. He would never do that. I hope. Don't get stressed about parent - teacher night. Let them meet each other. They all want you to do your best and be a smart, happy kid. Enjoy the attention. Have a great day at school tomorrow.

what's so funny?

Aunt Jen, kids in my class were laughing at a joke but I didn't get it.
I say you should just laugh along with them. Fake it. Smile.
It doesn't feel good when other people are laughing and you're not! Hey, it's not personal. They're kids laughing about something funny, not about you. That's good. You want to hang out with happy kids. Funny kids are.... um, funny. Maybe you missed something silly on a tv show. They could be laughing about a funny new video on youtube. Remember the big mac rap that everyone was talking about a while ago? If you never saw the video and you heard kids say CRISPY, you might have thought they were talking about lunch or a teacher's weird hair! If you saw the rap then you know it was a joke at the end about chicken. Watch it here. Keep in mind that the joke wasn't about you. You just laugh along and ask your best friend to explain the joke later. You could just blurt out "What's so funny?" They'll tell you. If they don't, it's really OK. Nobody gets every joke on earth.

really gross stuff

Which is the most disgusting thing you can experience in a classroom?
a. someone throws up
b. someone has a nose bleed
c. someone is picking his nose
d. someone is sniffing snot and refuses to use tissues
e. someone wipes his nose on his hand
f. someone coughs on your stuff
g. someone keeps sneezing right next to you
h. someone stuck gum under your desk and you touch it
i. someone picks scabs that bleed or ooze goo

All of the above are really gross. Equally gross to me. Actually the absolute grossest is when someone does any of the above things then touches your stuff. Picks up your pencil. Shares your book. Sits at your desk. Touches your computer. I'm getting the creeps just writing about it. So what can you do about this gross stuff? First, make sure you are not doing it. Any of it. That's right, we don't use sleeves in middle school. Go get tissues. Then use them. Then throw them in the trash. Then wash your hands. If your room doesn't have tissues then go to the bathroom and use toilet paper on your nose. Keep your gum away from the desks. Wrap it in a scrap of paper then throw it in the trash. don't leave your gum for other people. ever. Leave your scabs alone. Get a bandaid. Keep the scabs covered. your hands are dirty anyway and those scrapes won't heal when you touch them with your school-germ hands. If your stomach gets upset and you are going to throw up, take action. Get to the trash can. Get to the bathroom. Don't ask permission. Just get away from other kids and try your best to hit the can. Your teacher will understand. You won't get in trouble if you're sick.
Anyone who spends any time at school knows about all this gross stuff and more. Use good personal care. That means take care of yourself. Keep other people's germs out of your body. Try your best not to share your germs with other people. Use the bathroom sink at lunch time to wash your hands with soap before you touch your food.
If someone next to you seems to be trying to share germs tell them about the rules of self care.
Have a healthy, gross-free day!

aunt jen, i dropped my books in the hall

Dropping your books is really embarrassing. It's frustrating too because all those folders that you have been organizing could get messed up or wrecked. Tons of middle school kids drop stuff every day. Sometimes best freinds slam eachother's books to the floor just to be funny. Yeah, real funny. It's even worse if mean kids "accidentally" kick a notebook. This is not the time to get angry. Even if you hear kids saying stupid stuff to you, let it go for now. Concentrate on getting your materials off the floor and getting to class. Try to gather everything into your arms. Watch out for your fingers when you're down on the floor because they could easily get stepped on. If the hall is very full, just wait a few seconds for kids to clear out.
When you get to class take a deep breath. ask to go to the bathroom. Why the bathroom, you say? That gives you a chance to walk off your feelings, get a drink and have a little bit of quiet time. By the time you get back to the classroom you'll probably feel (almost) back to normal. Later you'll have to find time to check your stuff for damage or footprints.
Hey, book slamming is very common. Once or twice it is meant as a joke. Try not to take it personally. You know how some kids will do anything for attention. Resist the temptation to become a slammer yourself.
If your stuff keeps getting pushed out of your arms time after time then you are being bullied. It could be a different kid each time or it could be the same kid or maybe you don't even know who is doing it. Tell your teacher about the problem. Middle school teachers are great at dealing with bullies. The book slammer may even have to carry his books AND yours as punishment.

lost in school: scene 2

You got lost but a kind person helped you get to the right classroom. Good. Now everyone else is already in there and you are late. Bad. What should you do if you're late to class?
A. charge into the room and shout ta da... I'm here!
B. don't go in. people will look at you.
C. go in calmly and explain that you accidentally went to art instead of math.
D. leave a note on the door: I was here. see you tomorrow.
E. crawl through the open door and with a quiet voice like you were lost in the desert, say, "water, water" and make panting sounds

While many of these choices look really good, the best one to go with is.... come on you know it's C. go in the classroom calmly. If the teacher even asks where you were then explain that you accidentally went to art but a nice person helped you to find math. The teacher will not scream at you. I promise. You may have last dibs on your favorite seat but you won't get in trouble for being lost in the first few days of school.
Answers A. and E. may have been selected by kids who like attention. They sometimes cover up nervous feelings with silly behavior. Everyone laughs. Hopefully the teacher will laugh, too. But not always and they're not the best choices for the beginning of the year.
Answers B. and D. feel like the best choices for very shy kids. They usually like school but hate when it feels like everyone is looking at them. In this scene, if kids are looking at you, they are thinking something like, "wow, I'm glad I didn't get lost this time." They will not scream out "Hey nice hair weirdo!" Even though you might feel very uncomfortable, just get in there and by the end of class, no one will remember that you were late.
Speaking of the end of class, maybe you could check your schedule and see if anyone in math will be going to gym next and can walk with you. Or what if you ask the math teacher for directions to the gym? That would work, too. Middle school teachers really are helpful and kind.