no, not the phone

What's the first thing that gets taken away when you're grounded? If it's your cell phone, join the club. lots of parents cut off the phone as soon as your report card has one tiny D. How can you be expected to communicate with anyone without a cell phone? Who lives in this world without texting? What did kids do 5 years ago? Talk in person? Talk on the home phone where people could actually hear what's being said? that's just ridiculous! Why do parents go right for the phone? It's really not fair.
Here's how adults look at this problem...
1. They expect you to get good grades and it seems like you spend more time on your phone than studying or doing any kind of school work.
2. That phone cost a lot to buy and a lot more every month for service.
3. They look at it as a privilege for you to use a phone of your own. Keep in mind that when they were teenagers, there was probably one phone in the house and it was in the kitchen on a really long cord. that's right, not even wireless. So, any time the family wanted to use the phone, anyone in the house could listen to what was going on. they had no privacy.
4. Adults worry about teens having too much privacy because there could be stuff going on in your life that they know nothing about. They don't like that feeling. Adults who love you want to know who you're talking to and what you're talking about.
My advice is to take your punishment. You don't have to like it. Also, spend some time doing school work at home where your parents can see you working. Knowing that you're trying to do better will give them the idea that you care about your education. After you do some work, ask about their technology back in the day. They didn't even have VCRs when they were little. Crazy, I know.

hi honey, how was your day?

Here's the scene. You get home from school. You're in a pretty good mood.

parent: "hi honey, how was your day?"

you: "fine."

parent: "did you do anything fun today?"

you: "no."

parent: "do you have any homework?"

you: "I don't know."

parent: "what?"

you: "I don't know. Why do you keep asking me these stupid questions!"

parent: "Don't talk back to me. Go do your homework!"

you: "Fine! I don't know why you're always yelling at me!"

parent: "Watch your tone or you'll be grounded!"

you: "So what. You never let me do anything anyway!"

the end. You're both in a bad mood now.

It is possible to answer the old how was your day question without getting mad. Here's how you might play the scene with parent questions decoded.

parent: "hi honey, how was your day?" actually means what were you doing all day? were teachers nice to you? did anything embarrassing happen? do you have a crush on someone?

you: "It was ok. We did an experiment in science today." this answer is giving some information, which is what parents want. They miss you and worry about you. You're growing up and parents want to be sure everything is ok.

parent: "oh, cool. Is your science teacher nice?" actually means I hope the teachers (who I don't really know) are treating my sweetheart very nicely!
you: "yeah, she's nice. She wears this white lab coat when she does experiments." this answer is giving parents a little detail so they can picture what's going on at school.

parent: "do you have any homework?" actually means do you have any homework and how long will it take and do you need any special stuff to do the assignment?

you: "I have to write about the lab for homework." this answer is giving a detail about the work.

parent: "ok, let me know if you need help." actually means I'll help and I'll get to see what that lab was about.

you: "I will." think I just had an adult kind of conversation and that's cool.

the end. No anger.

after school

take a break. you've been working hard all day. have a snack. let your brain rest. play.
Watch a show on tv, but just one. Turn off the tv at the end of one program. You can do it. Sometimes we sit in front of the tv for a really long time but there are other things to do. Like homework. After your break time, set up a quiet place to do your homework. With the tv off.
Sure, you might say, "Aunt Jen, I can concentrate with the tv on."
I don't think it's good for your brain. Let yourself have quiet time and focus on the school work. You'll get finished faster. The work will be higher quality. Your brain will thank you for the break from all that noise. Hey, don't try to sneak your ipod. I know what you're up to.
Also, put down your phone and stop texting.
Just get the school work finished. Then you can text.
Have a great day at school tomorrow.