no, not the phone

What's the first thing that gets taken away when you're grounded? If it's your cell phone, join the club. lots of parents cut off the phone as soon as your report card has one tiny D. How can you be expected to communicate with anyone without a cell phone? Who lives in this world without texting? What did kids do 5 years ago? Talk in person? Talk on the home phone where people could actually hear what's being said? that's just ridiculous! Why do parents go right for the phone? It's really not fair.
Here's how adults look at this problem...
1. They expect you to get good grades and it seems like you spend more time on your phone than studying or doing any kind of school work.
2. That phone cost a lot to buy and a lot more every month for service.
3. They look at it as a privilege for you to use a phone of your own. Keep in mind that when they were teenagers, there was probably one phone in the house and it was in the kitchen on a really long cord. that's right, not even wireless. So, any time the family wanted to use the phone, anyone in the house could listen to what was going on. they had no privacy.
4. Adults worry about teens having too much privacy because there could be stuff going on in your life that they know nothing about. They don't like that feeling. Adults who love you want to know who you're talking to and what you're talking about.
My advice is to take your punishment. You don't have to like it. Also, spend some time doing school work at home where your parents can see you working. Knowing that you're trying to do better will give them the idea that you care about your education. After you do some work, ask about their technology back in the day. They didn't even have VCRs when they were little. Crazy, I know.

rowdy boys

Ok girls, let's talk about boys! Did you notice that middle school boys are always shoving each other? into lockers, into walls, down steps, up steps, in the cafeteria? Why are they so rough? What's the point of trying to hurt other kids? Boys are trying to get your attention! They think girls will be impressed with big strong guys who are tougher than other guys. Sometimes they run wildly through crowds of people. They shove and trip other guys so you will notice them and their big muscles. LOL. Lots of middle school guys are still pretty small. They haven't hit that exciting time of puberty. Just wait. Soon those tiny little boys who want you to be impressed because they can shove people will be actual big, strong guys with actual muscles. You'll want to hug them. Until then, and I'm talking about 9th and 10th grade, just watch and laugh. That's all they need. Those poor little guys are not ready for serious releationships. Soon, girls. Give them a couple years. Have fun watching them grow.

screaming girls

hey boys, do you know why so many middle school girls are screaming? at the bus stops, in the halls, at their lockers, at stores, at parks? Do you know? It's to get your attention. They scream so boys will notice them. The more they scream stuff, and who knows what they're saying it doesn't really matter, the more they like you. So what should you do? Look around. Listen. See if you might like any of those screaming cuties. You might start by saying HI. She might want to study together. Or text you. She might want to be your myspace friend. Get to know some stuff about her. The nicer you are, the more she will stop screaming to get your attention. Have fun and be friendly.

stop making stuff up

Really. don't live in imaginaryville. That's when you do something that you probably shouldn't have done. You get caught. You claim you didn't do anything. Let's picture this scene, played hundreds of times in middle schools around the country...
teacher: ok class, take out your book and turn to page 95.
you: take brand new yellow pencil and karate chop it into bits.
teacher: what was that?
you: nothing.
teacher: I see broken pencil bits all over your desk and the floor.
you: I didnt do it. that was here before.
teacher: Are you kidding me? I just heard the pencil get karate chopped. It was your hand chopping. Look, there are bits on your leg.
you: no, they must have fallen off the desk because I didn't do anything.
teacher: Stop acting like you didn't break that brand new pencil because you did it!!
you: what pencil?
other kids: ha ha ha ha
teacher: GGGRRRR I'm getting really upset with your behavior. clean up that mess and turn to page 95 right now.
you: I don't want to get splinters.
This scene can go on and on for a long time.
I call it living in imaginaryville. You know that you chopped the pencil. Everyone in the room knows you chopped the pencil. It takes a lot of patience for a teacher to listen to your LIES without wanting to put you in a sleeper hold so you stop talking and interrupting the lesson on page 95. Part of growing up is telling the truth about stupid stuff you did. Accept the consequences. Clean up the pencil bits. Turn to the page in your book and stop torturing the teacher.

Monday morning issues

You know, teachers are only human. They can help you with a lot of stuff but they can't do everything. Picture this scene...
Let's say you went out on Halloween night. You and your friends were having fun. It was nice weather. Everyone was outside and happy and eating candy. Then some rowdy kids came around. They started throwing candy. at you. at your friends. somehow hard things, maybe rocks, got mixed in with the candy. It hit you and it hurt. You yell something at the mean kids then you and your friends go somewhere else. Mean kids left. You came back out to have fun.
ff to Monday morning. School. Those mean kids go to your school. One of them is in your science class. Mean kid is such a jerk and brings up hitting you and your friends with soft candy corn. Mean kid says you acted like a baby because candy can't hurt anyone. You are big and smart so you ignore the mean kid. but meany won't let it go. Meany keeps saying stuff about Friday night. Finally you want to punch that kid. You don't of course, but you DO start to YELL at meany to SHUT UP and GET AWAY FROM ME! Now, Mr. Science teacher hears this commotion while you're supposed to be learning about cell structure but there is clearly something else going on.

Let's consider that scene from the teacher's point of view: mean kid won't give up on saying stupid stuff. You're getting madder by the moment and louder, too. Teacher is just trying to help you learn but now he has to hear all about the candy corn and the rocks and the stupid stuff that mean kid said and did. Keep in mind this is all during science class. on Monday. He's not in the mood for drama. He wants you to learn the science lesson. You and meany have made a big scene and now he has to deal with a problem that has nothing to do with school or him or science.

want some gum?

gum. scene 1:
boy chewing gum in school. (You should know that this school does not allow gum.)
girl asks boy for a piece of gum.
boy says sure. gets out a square of gum.
girl holds out her hand.
boy presses gum against girl's chest. lets go. attempts to watch gum slide down her shirt.
girl catches gum before it goes down too far.
girl's face is red.

gum. scene 2.
teacher witnessed scene 1.
teacher tells boy that putting gum against girl's chest is not appropriate school behavior.
boy says, "what? I was just giving her a piece of gum."
teacher says, "ok, can I have a piece? You'll put it in my hand, right? Not against my chest?"
boy says, "yeah." looks down. feels sorry that he was caught acting rude.
girl dashes off to class, glad that the boy knows what he did was wrong.

gum. scene 3.
boy begs teacher not to call his home to discuss his behavior.
boy says he's doing really well this year and he promises to treat girls nicely.

wrap up:
boys, girls do not want you to touch their chest during school. ever. don't snap their bras. don't touch their butts either.
girls, you don't have to accept that kind of treatment. let boys know that you won't put up with them trying to look down your shirt or touch you in ways they shouldn't.

principals are for???

Are you wondering what Principals do all day? They have big offices. They have secretaries. They can be found wandering all around the school. They come in early. They stay at school later than most people. Yeah, so why, you ask?
Think of the principal as the school manager. They are in charge of the building. Principals interview new teachers who want a job in your school. The principal makes decisions about the school schedule, lunch times, number of kids in your class and even which teachers you will have for science, math, reading and other subjects. Principals also handle lots of problems. They spend hours on the phone with parents, deal with discipline of kids, transportation issues, health emergencies and fire drills. The principal is also the boss of all the teachers. She's in charge of making sure the teachers are doing their best and following school rules and getting to work on time and filling in proper paperwork. Principals also make decisions about how the school spends it's money. They order text books, paper, computers, crayons, pencils, library books and basketballs. Think of all the supplies and furniture like chairs and desks. Principals had to choose all that stuff. Assemblies, activities, clubs, sports, and even dances have to be approved by the principal.
How can one person do all that work? Each principal has at least 2 college degrees and special training to learn how to be the leader of a school. They attend lots of meetings with other principals and school leaders to plan the best education for you. It's a big job!